He Might Break Me

I was at the gym yesterday and accidentally made eye contact with this guy who looks exactly like the Russian boxer from Rocky IV.  Scary.  Before I could run to my treadmill and cry he smiled and asked if I wanted my body fat measured.  Well, THAT’S gotta be the strangest pick up line I’ve ever heard.  But I’m all about the number game so sign me up, Drago!  (And here is where I apologize if you aren’t getting the Rocky references.  Little tip about me, I LOVE all things Rocky Balboa.  Judge harshly if you must, but I know I’m super cool.)

39.1%  Holy crap, kids.  I’m almost half fat.

Turns out this guy is a personal trainer that works out of my gym.  Truth be told, I knew that.  Another truth?  I’ve avoided making eye contact BECAUSE of that.  He mostly works out of the one side of the gym that I know nothing about.  There are all sorts of weights over there and big muscle bound people doing crazy stunts like…squats.

I just don’t think I’m ready to squat.

However.  39.1?!  That’s…kinda gross.  And I could always use a muscle or two.  Might come in handy when I need to lift a particularly heavy piece of cheesecake fruit. 

I’m still on the fence about the trainer route, though.  1)  He’s hella expensive.  Like, my savings account would take a serious hit, expensive.  2)  I’m reading Jillian.  She shows a lot of moves.  Mostly for free.  3)  I could just be setting myself up for heartbreak, like this poor girl.

What do you guys think?

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One Response

  1. aaawww….I love your #3. Okay , not really but I guess if it references me, then I get warm fuzzies 🙂

    Look lady, when you lose the fat, you will have extra skin. I promise. You need muscle to fill the extra skin up a little so it doesn’t look like a skeleton. You knew this, you listen to Jillian. Now…a trainer will take you on a trip beyond your wildest dreams. Its like an orgasm of the gym world – am I allowed to say that? He will make you hurt in places you never knew had feelings and will make it hurt so much it feels good. And you will go back. Over and over again because it is that good. And the results are amazing! All of a sudden, after a month or so, you will notice your body will have shape. Shape covered with a little fat, maybe but shape none the less. I don’ t have money either. Its on my credit card. Not an Einstein move to make but hey, it is worth every penny I promise!

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