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Temporary Radio Silence

It is inevitable that I will be posting tomorrow or tonight or even this afternoon!  Because every time I issue a few days of quiet around the blog I immediately think of twenty things to write about.  But still…I might not be posting until my BlogapaLOSEa head to toe shot on Wednesday.

If I could take a long, hot bubble bath for the next few days, I would.  If I could swim in a pool of margaritas, I would.

The theme of this summer has been loss.  So many people I know have been touched by death, including myself.  I just found out Wednesday that my grandmother got hit by a car.  I found out Thursday that she died.  The story is long and convoluted and I really don’t feel like getting into it.  But I will say that I hadn’t seen this grandmother since I was twelve years old.  I saw her the last time I visited my real father.  And I had every intention of getting back in touch, sending a note, a card, etc.  There were a few false starts when I was in college.  We wrote a couple of letters back and forth.  But I let that slide.

In short, I feel like the worst possible example of a family member.  My father’s side of the family is ripped to shreds because of rampant alcoholism and I felt the best way to combat this as a twelve year old was to avoid them.  So I did.  And now, here I am, thirty-one, and still so out of touch that they didn’t even think to let me know my grandmother had died.

The story has so many other twists and turns and maybe someday I’ll tell it.  Because this website has become a place for me where I feel safe to tell my stories.  But for now, I’m heading off to Microbiology.  Because if I stop for a second and get overwhelmed by school life and job life…REAL life is going to make a mess out of me.

Thank you for stopping by.


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