Crickets

I was wondering why no one responded to my last post with any sort of insightful wisdom or words of advice.  I think it’s because many of you are out there struggling with the same questions.  Why do we do this to ourselves?  How can we stop?  I guess if anybody had the answers we wouldn’t have to ask the questions in the first place.  This is probably the reason so many self help books are written every year trying to answer the age old questions of how and why.

So in the spirit of being brain stumped, I have another pickle pricking at my psyche tonight.

How does a person overcome perfectionism?  It is 817pm and I’m an hour and a half away from home.  I did not drag myself out of bed this morning to get to the gym before I started my day and now I don’t see myself being able to squeeze in a workout.  I won’t bore you with all of the various reasons or excuses (depending on your interpretation), but suffice it to say that I will mostly likely not meet my goal of working out every day this month.  I use the phrases ‘most likely’ and ‘depending on your interpretation’ because I think that I might end up in the gym before midnight due to being such a damn perfectionist and not accepting any excuses for my self-defined shortcomings.

I’m very hard on myself.  Dawn reminds me of this fairly often and I’m often told again and again that no one is perfect.  Shit happens.  That’s life.  It is what it is.  But this verbiage doesn’t work for me.  I hold myself to an impossible standard and I don’t know how to stop.

Any ideas?

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4 Responses

  1. remember way back in the high school days when i was all ocd? probably not too well seeing as how i did not like to talk about it that much. I also don’t think that ocd was even heard of back then. But when I went to the army I did not have time to worry about it anymore…which is weird because the military is all anal retentiveness. I guess I just changed my ocd focus to something else.
    So there is my suggestion, join up! hehehehe

    I don’t really have a suggestion an your issue, you are asking us how to have you stop being yourself. Just know that I will love you forever anyway. And wether you make it to the gym or not, you are still ahead of the game because you acknowledged the issue. i am rambling so i’ll stop.

    3 more months!

  2. eh, the question that forever has no answer: “why do we do this to ourselves?”

    It is funny in “Alanis Morissette, Ain’t it Funny” kind of way that we can so easily read about each others journeys and say “lemme tell ya what to do” or “lemme share what your doing wrong” yet when the time comes to turn our advice on ourselves, its like a ghost town up in here.

    Anyways, enough of me rambling. Keep pushing through okay? I know you won’t give up, just take it one decision at a time.

  3. I have comments about this post & your previous one, because they both sound so very much like me. As far as the eating things you know you shouldn’t, turning off that voice that says “NO!” & doing it anyway, and using food to smother emotions you don’t want to feel-I WISH I could give you some great words of wisdom…but unfortunately, I wouldn’t be in BlogapaLOSEa if I did! And the perfectionism thing…yeah, there are some things that I’m very mellow-go-with-the flow about & some things I will absolutely FREAK OUT about if they aren’t “just so.” The freaking out has leveled off considerably with the addition of my children, since it’s darn near impossible to be perfect and be a good mother to a preschooler & a toddler.

  4. Overcoming perfectionism is not an easy thing to do. So how does one overcome it? I don’t think there is one universal cure-all. Journaling has helped me. Writing always helps me identify the eccentricities of my brain and I also use it as a reality check, asking myself questions. “How am I being irrational?” and “Does this really make a difference in the big picture?” or “What am I missing out on by being such a perfectionist?”

    The only conclusion I can draw is this: We can’t be perfect 100% of the time and striving to reach that goal is unrealistic and irrational. That being said, I should really heed my own advice, considering I set my alarm for 6:45 this morning in order to do some yoga before work, but I didn’t crawl out of bed until 8, and in a rush, was almost late for work. This has become a pattern lately. I tell myself I’m going to wake up and do yoga a few times per week, and it never happens. Actually, I don’t make it happen. I’m mad at myself but I’m also wondering if I should strive to get yoga in at some point during the day and not be so anal about what time I actually do it.

    So, for this week, I’m separating my yoga goal into 2 goals. Yoga in three times a week, at any point during the day when I have time. Add a new goal of getting up at 6:45 just to not have to rush anymore. It really puts me in a horrible mood and is not a healthy way to start my day.

    I obviously don’t have the answers, but I do think that you have to find the root cause within yourself and then take steps to remedy the thoughts/feelings associated with your perfectionism.

    Here’s to you,
    Erin

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