Believe It Or Not, Nothing Is New

I guess that probably isn’t that hard to believe.  I lead a pretty boring life.  School, work, repeat.

Although, I’ve thrown the gym in there more often than in the past.  And whaddya know…it works.  Stress is relieved, scale is happy, pants fit better, life is all puppies and sunshine, etc etc etc.  I hope this is the last time I have to learn that lesson.

However, this week I haven’t been feeling it.  I don’t consider myself off the proverbial wagon, but instead I just consider that, dude, I’ve been working really damn hard in every area of my life.  It’s okay to take a breath every now and again.  Hats off to those warriors and idols that can GOGOGO without a few days rest.  I’m not one of them.  🙂  My tank gets empty and the battery needs to be recharged every six weeks or so.  And sometimes?  The battery and tank require a lot of cheese.

I’m okay with it. You be, too.

You do it your way, I’ll do it mine, and we’ll both make ourselves happy.

I read Portia De Rossi’s memoir a few weeks ago.  I loved every single word of it, right up until the end.  She lost me when she claimed to have all the answers for living a healthful life.  She said something about how she never sees thin people on a treadmill but she frequently sees them out walking their dogs.  This was her example of how exercising for fitness wasn’t the answer, but that exercising for fun was the only way to go.  I’m sure she doesn’t actually think in these polar terms.  She’s a brilliant woman with excellent taste in people and life philosophy.  I’m sure she was just trying to make a point.  But still, it was off-putting.  She also wrote that restricting food doesn’t work and dieting is a miserable way to live.

I’m sure it is.  When you’re striving to weigh 80 pounds.

But for those of us who are on the other end of the spectrum, those of us who actually DO weigh too much and actually ARE addicted to food, restricting and dieting is necessary to save our lives.  And having a thin and beautiful person poo-poo that necessity was a slap to the face.  It was like I was reading this book and the whole time thinking that this woman gets it!  And then I got to the end and was excited for the big reveal only to find that she doesn’t understand my end of the spectrum afterall.  And why would she?  She has never been a big girl.

At any rate, I’d still recommend the book.  She’s an incredibly gifted writer and her craft is flawless.  I just wish there was a book out there about someone that’s had my experience.  I guess I’m looking for a manual of what to do.  Or a book that will show me what to expect once the weight is off.

I’ve been big for so long…I don’t know how to be any other way.

It’s scary to let go of the protective layers, ya know?


2 Responses

  1. I don’t think Portia is trying to say she’s got all the answers. I think that “dieting” is miserable – but to me, the secret is to make it a lifestyle thing and not a diet. And making exercise fun is healthier than being miserable at the gym, if that makes you miserable.

    Have you read “Half-Assed” by Jennette Fulda? She lost half her body-weight (literally!) and blogs at She might be someone you can relate to more than Portia 🙂

    Hang in there!

  2. I hope you’re doing well…I haven’t forgotten about you! 🙂

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